What if I told you’ve been lied to your whole life?

You’ve been lied to about having control over your work, your future, and your children.

 Day after day, you accumulate expectations.

You’ve been loyal to your company for years, expecting the same in return. You’ve worked hard and treated everyone kindly, anticipating a future that reflects your efforts. And you’ve given all your love to your children, believing they will grow into good, compassionate people.

Despite your unwavering dedication, you’re made redundant at the first opportunity and now struggle to make ends meet. A close friend betrays you, and your home is robbed. Meanwhile, your children get involved with the wrong crowd and no longer heed your guidance. 

Inevitably, all of this leads to disappointment, after disappointment. Slowly over time, you become bitter and resentful. You start avoiding people and situations, believing that somehow this will make things better.

Nevertheless, that’s just an illusion.

It’s an illusion that people will react the way you want them to. It’s an illusion that things will unfold the way you expect them to.

Life is unpredictable, and we are all different.

Gary Chapman described this phenomenon in his book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”. In it, the author explains the reason behind spouses‘ arguments.  Basically, we all speak a different language of love. And if for you, doing the housework and cooking, means that you are showing love to your husband, for him that might not be the case. For him,  spending time with you might be of utmost importance, and therefore, you passing time by doing house chores, might mean that you’re avoiding him.  So, expecting him to show gratitude for the delicious meal you’ve prepared will likely lead to unmet expectations—and ultimately, disappointment.

What’s the solution then?

We all have been brainwashed into living a life full of expectations, how do we change that?

I’ve come up with a concept, called ALIGN. Embracing it can be a powerful step toward undoing the conditioning around expectations and reclaiming your peace. ALIGN stands for Awareness, Love, Intention, Giving, Non-attachment:

 Become aware of all the situations, in which you feel disappointed. Soon you will discover a pattern. Maybe you get disappointed of your spouse for not complimenting your look, maybe you get disappointed by friends who don’t return the favour you did for them not long ago? We all have specific patterns we follow. By decoding yours, you are 1 step closer to a happier life, one without expectations and disappointments.  

Love unconditionally, not only others but also Yourself! That means, learning how to say No, and how to forgive yourself for any mistakes you’ve done in the past.

To live with intention means to slow down and ask yourself – why do I have this expectation from that person, does it really matter? Then, instead of reacting automatically, respond intentionally.

 Give without strings. Don’t wait for a return—it’s not coming, and it doesn’t need to.

Relax and let go. Don’t attach yourself to an expected response, or a certain outcome. Instead, expect nothing and welcome anything that comes.