Let’s Talk About Shame

Food addiction is the one additiction that’s not possible to hide.

You can be an alcoholic, get drunk at night and the next day go about your business as nothing happened. It’s the same with drug addiction.

However, with food it works very differently. Everything you eat eventually shows on your body. Pound by pound, it starts to accumulate around your waist, hips, legs, and more. No matter how loose your clothes are, there comes a point when the growing you can no longer be hidden.

And that’s when shame steps in. We feel ashamed that we’ve gained weight. And we find it hard to cope with friends’ and family’s comments.

As I’ve gained a substantial amount of weight myself (over 10 kg), today I’m caught up in thoughts about shame. Even though, my weight gain is a part of an experiment, I still feel it. I feel obligated to explain myself to everyone. And I whenever I can avoid social interactions, I do.

I guess that’s just a habit after so many years being trapped in such negative emotions.

Nevertheless, I felt the urge to explore the topic further. And after a bit of research, I discovered that there are a few reasons one might feel shame due to their weight creeping up.

Media and everyone around us continuously emphasises that beautiful people are slim. We are constantly bombarded by pictures of trim bodies in magazines, advertisement and on TV. And when we don’t look like that, we automatically feel embarrassed and ashamed.

We naturally fear being judged by others, and weight gain makes that fear stronger because it’s so visible. Since appearance is often the first thing people notice, it can feel like our bodies are under constant scrutiny.

I’m guilty of this one. I have a deep belief that I can’t be beautiful and confident if I am overweight. That whatever I wear I look bad. Yet, I’ve got friends who proudly wear their extra weight and I actually think that they look good.

Guilty of this one too. I come from a family of trim people. I’ve never had issues with my weight up until the birth of my daughter. And because most of my life I’ve been “fit”, when I gain some weight I feel so uncomfortable. I might be in a room full of overweight people, but I would still feel that all eyes are on me and that everyone is judging me because of my weight.

So, when it comes to shame about being overweight, I feel that we should try and reframe the way we see ourselves.

1. Being overweight doesn’t mean that you are a failure or weak. There could be a myriad of reasons for piling up some extra weight – stress, hormones, environmental factors etc.
2. Even though you might be overweight, you are still beautiful. Know that everyone around you sees it, it’s just you who needs to open your eyes.