“I’m glad I went out today. Walking in the park was really nice and refreshing. No, seriously I really enjoyed that… But that poor lady slipped and fell onto the mud. I felt bad for her. I hope she is okay now… Hmm I remember how many times I fell in public. It didn’t feel good at all. It was very embarrassing… How about that time when I tripped on the road and two neighbours ran to me to help me get up? That was awkward. What did they think about me? Oh I wish I could forget that… Hmm and how about that time when I fell in office 7 years ago, in front of everyone. At the time, I was heavily pregnant, squatting in front of the fridge, looking for my lunch. Suddenly, I lost balance, and just like a turtle with a heavy shell, I fell onto my back. Ouch!… So embarrassing! …. I remember my colleague Amy… I wonder how is she doing….”
Does this sound familiar? Have you ever gone for an innocent walk in the park only to end up reminiscing and stressing over things that happened years ago? Well I have. And I’ve suffered like this for a very long time. You see, the mind is like a fierce dog dragging his owner around in the mud. Yes, I was the owner in the above scenario, although, it was arguable who owned who. I would run after this beast every day, whole day long. And at night, exhausted of all this running and still covered in mud, I would toss around in my bed for hours. Eventually, I would fall asleep. But as soon as I opened my eyes the next morning, I would see this same dog again waiting for me next to my bed, drooling all over my bed and me. And the drag would start again.
Unfortunately, many of us feel powerless when it comes to our thoughts.
They just appear out of nothing, don’t they? And we have no control over them. Yet, often, we even find enjoyment in becoming engrossed in thought. And although, pleasant memories and thoughts might give us some temporal happiness. They take you away from the present moment. Inevitably, when you come back to the ‘Now” the illusory happiness that you felt just moments ago would have evaporated into thin air, and you find yourself empty handed and disappointed. What’s more, this happens to you regularly and you find yourself in this constant drag and pull, that you almost never get to experience the present moment.
And the truth of the matter, is that the happiness, grace and fulfilment can only be found in the present moment. Not in the past, as it has long gone. Not even in the future, as it will never come. There will always be another tomorrow, another week, month, etc.
I hear you – what do you mean by that? The future will never come? Tomorrow always comes!
And that’s true, but when tomorrow comes, it turns into today. But most of us are completely oblivious of today, it’s like we are sleep walking, unaware of this very moment. Instead, our attention is always preoccupied with another tomorrow, and then another, and another.
We can’t control our thoughts and emotions, but we can learn to control our mind.
Imagine that you are sitting in front of a malfunctioning TV – it continuously changes the channels all by itself, and you are sitting quietly and watching, no matter what’s been shown to you and for how long, without even thinking about picking up the remote and taking control over the TV, or shut it down all together.
Mindfulness allows you to figure out where the remote is and how to make the TV work properly again.
A Simple Mindfulness Exercise To Help You Stop Overthinking
This simple mindfulness exercise will help you detach from your thoughts and let them go, without fighting them, instead of becoming absorbed into them.
It’s called “Leaves on a Stream” Exercise
How to Do It:
1. Find a quiet place and sit comfortably. Close your eyes if you like.
2. Imagine a gentle stream flowing in front of you.
3. Visualise your thoughts as leaves floating on the water.
4. Each time a thought arises, place it on a leaf and let it drift away.
5. Don’t judge or engage with the thoughts—just observe and let them go.
6. If you get distracted, gently bring your focus back to the stream.
Why It Works:
• Helps you detach from thoughts instead of getting caught up in them.
• Encourages non-judgmental awareness of your mind.
• Trains you to let go instead of overanalysing.
Be patient with yourself whilst doing this exercise. It’s totally normal to get distracted every now and then. But that’s why it’s called a practice. Think of your mind like a muscle you want to train. You wouldn’t start by lifting a 100kg barbel, would you? Treat your mind the same way, start gently, by choosing to sit for short periods of time at first, and be patient. There is no perfection when it comes to mindfulness, and there are no mistakes. When you get distracted, simply go back to the exercise.
Do this exercise when your mind is relatively calm. As you practice more and more, you will find yourself being able to let go of your thoughts in other moments of the day too, and not just when sitting with your eyes closed.
You don't have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.
Dan Millman