Have you ever said to yourself “I’ll be happy when…”? I’ll be happy when I graduate university, I’ll be happy when I get a job, I’ll be happy when I buy a car, when I lose weight, when I go on a vacation…

But then, how many of those things did you actually achieve? And more importantly, how happy did  they  make you? And for how long? – a year, month, week, couple of days?

The truth of the matter is that chasing happiness with material possessions or achievements it’s like catching soap bubbles. As soon as one is in your hand, it bursts, and you find yourself empty handed, looking for another bubble.

And that’s because the kind of happiness those things give you is ephemeral, it’s only an illusion. 

You see, this is how our minds work. There’s a book by Dr. Steve Peters, titled The Chimp Paradox. In it Dr. Peters compares the mind to a constantly chattering chimp that lives in our head. This chimp hates silence and therefore its main mission is to abolish even the few seconds of peace and quiet you sometimes might experience. It constantly judges, compares, comments, argues, fights, it eludes you into believing that there is always something missing in your life in this moment, and if you want to be happy, you just have to go and get it. So it paints a picture for you of a false future reality.

Let’s say for example that you are a final year student. Your chimp mights say something like: “I can’t wait to graduate. Then I’ll be free! No more exams, no more lectures. I can go on a vacation, spend time with my friends and family…”

But that’s a complete distortion of reality. Because, everyone knows that after graduating one normally has to go and find a job, so they can pay their bills, buy food and clothes, and possibly go on a vacation with their friends, who already have a job. When you do eventually go on a vacation, you spend most of it complaining about your job and the many tasks you’ll have to complete once you’re back.

Maybe you remember the time when you were a child and wanted a specific toy, which your parents didn’t buy. Then you told them: “When I grow up I’ll be free to buy anything I want to!” And they replied: “Don’t hurry growing up, but enjoy your childhood, play and have fun now, because with growing up responsibilities come and life gets complicated.”

The point I’m trying to make is that you can only be truly happy now, in this very moment. Don’t let it slip away.

Happily ever after doesn’t exist. And that’s a good thing. Imagine how boring life would be if you always got what you wanted and did what you wanted?

Count your blessings now, embrace challenges and enjoy the present moment.

Simple as that!

This is the formula for true happiness.